The Mother's Day Conundrum

I have mixed feelings about Mother's Day.  I mean, any day where I get presents is obviously a good day.  This year Jay managed to surprise me (again!) with a new computer chair.  Either he thinks I spend all day watching Netflix on the computer while the kids are at school or he noticed that the chair we had was slowly losing all it's foam stuffing and sitting on it to check your email was like sitting on concrete.  At any rate, I am now sitting on a very comfortable chair that I may not move from tomorrow, especially since The West Wing is streaming on Netflix.

Anyway - mixed feelings.  I love being a mother and I think I'm pretty good at it most days.  But I'm not sure that I need a special day to reinforce that being a mother is kind of fun and great.  I don't need or even want to be told how awesome I am by my kids on Mother's Day because honestly it feels a little forced.  "Mom, you are a great cook" after a week where sandwiches were the norm because everyone was always busy around dinnertime just doesn't have the ring of truth, you know?  I would rather be appreciated every day of every year than blasted by Mom Love for a day and then ignored for the other 364 days of the year.  And to be fair, maybe I feel that way because I do feel appreciated.  I know that Jay appreciates what I do as a mom.  He tells me, just randomly.  I know that my kids, in general, think I'm OK and I don't think I have messed anyone up to badly yet.  I'm lucky.  Not everyone has that.  So when Jay asks me what I want for Mother's Day, I honestly don't know.  I feel pretty fortunate and don't feel like I need a gift to make me feel good about myself.  Don't get me wrong - I will enjoy this new chair a lot.  I loved the cute little gifts that my kids brought home from school and church today.  We had cupcakes.  I just don't feel like it's necessary, at least for me.

Also, there are many women in my little sphere of existence that don't have children for whatever reason.  I hate that Mother's Day, no matter how hard we try to make it inclusive, can be a painful reminder of something that they may want but do not have.  I hate that.  And I hate that there is absolutely nothing that I can do to change those circumstances and nothing that I can say that won't sound trite and cliche.

So I'll celebrate Mother's Day because it's just what we do in our culture.  I will call my Mom and make sure she knows I was thinking about her today.  But I won't make myself feel guilty because I'm not Mother of the Year and I won't pat myself on the back for all the sacrifices that I make as a mom. I'll just go about my business, like all mothers do.  And that's how it should be, I guess.