Anniversary

Today is the first anniversary of Henry's surgery and subsequent thyroid cancer diagnosis. I was thinking about it this morning and trying to remember details of the day. Honestly, it's kind of fuzzy. I was exhausted, physically and emotionally. I hadn't slept well in the weeks leading up to his surgery and the anticipation of the cancer diagnosis was just so emotionally draining. I remember Henry laying on our bed all morning, playing with his borrowed DS game system. He had to fast so we just had him stay upstairs so we could make sure he wasn't tempted to eat or drink anything. I remember dropping William and Tessa off at my friend Nicole's house and how she hugged me. I remember sitting in the waiting room and Jay saying to me, "you know that it's going to be cancer, don't you?" I remember knowing that there were so many people that I needed to call and tell the news but I just couldn't because I knew that if I started crying I wouldn't be able to stop and I needed to hold myself together to take care of Henry.

Mostly, though, I remember the kindness of those around us. There were doctors and nurses who checked on Henry even when they were off their shifts. Henry's teacher came to visit him every day in the hospital and even came to our house to check on him. My friend Nicole took my kids for hours and hours at a time, effortlessly folding them into her daily routine so that I wouldn't have to worry about them. My friend Melissa didn't know it, but when she walked into Henry's hospital room early in the morning the day after his surgery with hot chocolate and a smoothie and a smile for Henry and a hug for me she was a literal answer to a prayer, because I was floundering and wasn't sure how I was going to make it through the morning until Jay came back to the hospital. Those are my main memories from early January of 2010 and I'm grateful for them.

On this first anniversary we are feeling positive. We know his latest bloodwork is good. We're waiting for a call back regarding the results of his chest CT from last week. We have a doctor's appointment in 2 weeks. But things are good.

I don't think Henry even realizes that today is significant to him in any way. He got up at his normal time and asked for his thyroid pill. He complained about the Jazz loss last night. He talked about how excited he is to start playing basketball on Saturday - his first game of the year. He bundled up and went to the bus stop with his brother. After school he'll come home, have a snack and watch TV or play on the Wii. He won't even think about the fact that a year ago he was in the hospital. It's just not something that he thinks about too much.

Life is as it should be.